Ok, this is going to be random but i feel that i have some things to talk about. One of my pals was just muttering about life again today, suddenly and out of nowhere. Although he tried to make it sound like a huge joke some of the things he said actually held meaning.

He muttered things about how we live to please others, how we always must live up to people's expectations, or have the want to be accepted into the "in" group. Then he also talked about how each of us are so very superficial. Yeah, i kind of agree with him. Even though sometimes we say we look more at the heart when sourcing for a partner, deep down inside each of us have looks placed as one of the more important factors. It's an undeniable fact.

Some quotes from pal,
"we are just like metal rails, placed in different environments, we experience different things. Some experience warmth, some cold, different places, different experiences."

"jc life has changed me, i don't know. I use to be able to laugh much, not worry about anything. I use to be able to go about my life without being afraid of offending someone."

Thinking about what he said, i sense a deep meaning in his words. Some other things he mentioned, like how sec sch was a desert and how jc was a winter places like Alaska. "in the sec sch years, it was like a desert, the days are longer than the nights. the times i felt warmth, joy, were long, and even though we say things to make fun, it is only laughed over and soon forgotten just like the night which is short in the desert. Jc is the opposite, everyday i go to school and it's like a day of trying not to offend anyway, try to please, be the one to give in, be the one doing the right thing."

How very true, like pal said, in sec sch i remembered how much laughter there was, how much joy there was in going to school. In jc, it's hard, as a's draw near, it's even harder. How often are we guilty of trying to look happy even when we're not? How much emotions have we pressed down just to make ourselves look happy? Honestly i can't remember a day ever since the first 3 months went by that i felt truly happy in jc. The love is simply hard to find.

I shall just end here...

Where is the love?

-J

...penned by Shuapok at 10:38 PM

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